Lakers vs. Timberwolves: Diary #2
Watching the Russell Westbrook drama unfold in LA is akin to watching a trashy reality TV dating show. One person wants to breakup with the other in a passive-aggressive way that is blatantly obvious to everyone watching. Meanwhile, the other insists on staying in the relationship despite inadvertently doing everything in their power to sabotage it. All the while thinking/saying they are not trying to sabotage it, despite all evidence to the contrary. It’s a great for content, but not so great for the record kinda thing.
It’s also a great diary entry kinda thing, so here goes.
Stream Viewed — Lakers Broadcast
1st Quarter
10:59 — Lebron draws the foul after converting his 1st 3-point attempt. I suspect LBJ is in attack mode due to the Lakers 0–4 start. The last time Lebron started a season this badly was during his 1st stint in Cleveland when a 7'3" Zydrunas Ilgauskus was lumbering down the floor. You’ll thank me later for this.
9:10 —Rudy can barely believe he already has his 2nd high post touch and thinks to himself, ‘Hell, that’s twice as many as I would get in Utah for the entire game.’ This leads to an awkward drive to the hoop that ends in Rudy attempting an up-and-under while traveling.
8:04 — There is something a little depressing in looking out on the floor and seeing who Lebron is flanked with, especially as it relates to the offensive side of things. Maybe I’m just seeing too many memes with this theme on twitter…
7:28 — Pat Bev convulses while darting into the paint then whips it out of bounds. Russ checks in and the hamstring seems okay.
7:04 — Russ gets to the hoop and… oof. I feel kinda bad on this one. It was like the dead brother ghost from The 6th Man was sitting on the hoop deflecting a sure make. Marlon Wayans and Kadeem Hardison star in this awful film you probably never heard of FYI. They both also star in my 2 favorite basketball films of all time in White Men Can’t Jump & Above The Rim.
6:30 — Timeout. 9–0 run for the Wolves after another Lakers turnover. It’s one thing to not be able to shoot, it’s another to parlay it with errant passes.
4:42 — Lebron with the dimer to Russ in the paint. Russ whips it at the bottom of the rim while toppling over. Maybe he was fouled…
3:39 — Kat drains a 3. How many more times do you suspect the Lakers broadcast is going to tell us he’s the reigning 3-point champ. Yeah, I guess it’s kinda cool — he’s a 7-footer who won a shooting contest. Once.
2:23 — Edwards sees Hillbilly Kobe Bryant is switched onto him proceeds to go right past him for an easy lay-in.
0:00 — Wolves Lead 25–28.
2nd Quarter
10:42 —I’ve finished my evaluation of the alt uniforms from both teams and I’m ready to make a ruling. The Wolves get a 5.2 — apparently they are inspired by “a wolfpack’s nighttime journey.” A nighttime journey to where I ask? Like a nightclub or an EDM festival? The Lakers get a 9.1 — simple & classic always works.
9:24 — A good defensive possession by the Lakers with effort and good rotations. Unfortunately, it ends in a Nowell put-back after a miss.
9:02 — Watching on league pass so I see all the in-arena videos. Michael Myers is the favorite Halloween costume of 3 different Wolves players apparently.
7:23 — Nowell looks the part of competent playoff rotation player as he converts a floater in the paint.
4:50 — It’s never a good look when the defender yells ‘gimme that’ right before he blocks you. McDaniels erases Westbrook at the rim.
3:29 —Right after hitting his 2nd 3-pointer of the year, Russ gets to the paint and converts a lay-in.
2:34 — Russell engages the hyperdrive badge and finishes in transition with the athletic lay-in. Is this Russ’s best 5 minutes of gameplay all year?
0:36 — Russell hits Lebron on the give-and-go for a tomahawk dunk. Lebron follows it with the bobble-head up and down celebration.
0:06 — Lebron converts a layup and we’re tied at halftime 52–52. Russell has officially closed the half making his last 4 field goals.
3rd Quarter
11:13 — Lonnie airball. Early returns are not great for Lonnie tonight. The shooting just is not there and there have also been some awkward moments in transition where he has mis-handled the ball.
9:12 — For the 2nd time in 3 possessions KAT and Rudy have an extremely awkward hot-potatoesque interior passing exchange that leads to a turnover. This just makes me feel uncomfortable to watch, and I hope I don’t have to see it again.
7:08 — Russell checks back in and winds his way to the hoop to make it 5 field goals in a row.
6:17- Bev stumbles, then I think travels, then while tumbling over chucks up a sky hook that somehow goes in as the shot clock expires. Difficulty score — 9.3.
4:57 — The Camera pans to AD as The Lakers broadcast crew delves into AD’s availability or lack thereof. JTA decides this is a good time to show off his Christmas Sweater and slides in front of Davis so that we can take a look.
1:04 — Transition bucket for Lonnie. The Lakers are clearly not a great team, but the effort appears to be there. I’m sure that’s exactly what you want to hear if you’re a Lakers fan.
0:01 — Russ buries his shoulder into Nowell as he draws the foul. He then proceeds to miss both from the stripe. Wolves 75–78.
4th Quarter
11:22 — Towns steps into the kitchen — but is he ready to start cooking? Deadeye badge engaged as his 3 makes it 77–83 Wolves.
10:35 — Lebron isn’t thrilled as he tumbles to the floor after — what looks like it might’ve been a foul… Anyways, while on the floor Lebron appears to start meditating so that he can transport his mind back to a time where he played with competent professional basketball players.
10:18 — Lebron goes full freight train for the and 1. Wolves 80–83
9:36 — Sure, the Lakers try hard, but it’s just ugly basketball…
9:19 — Wolves cap-off the slop fest with a 3 to take the 80–86 lead.
7:08 — Seven people topple over in yet another sloppy sequence before the Lakers push in transition. Russ catches the refs off-guard and double dribbles right before he throws an alley that Bron palms into the rim. Wolves 84–90.
5:15 — Towns now has the oven preheated and is preparing his marinade as he drains another 3. 87–96.
3:37 — Ant drains the stepback 3-pointer with ease. Wolves 92–100.
3:17 — Towns drains another trey and waits for the announcers to start talking about how he’s the reigning 3-point contest champ again. Wolves 94–103.
2:21 — Hillbilly Kobe drains a 3 and the comeback is… probably not going to happen. 98–103.
1:17 — Troy Brown zones out and catches the ball out of bounds. This gaffe marks 20 turnovers for the Lakeshow tonight. 99–105.
0:57 — Gobert’s rebound and put-back gives him a 20–20 game for the evening as the Wolves put the final nail in the coffin — that’s a halloween themed idiom, right? Wolves 99–107.
0:00 — The Lakers played with effort and Russell Westbrook was okay-ish. Unfortunately, it’s a recepie for another loss. Wolves 102–111.
Let’s hand out some awards:
- Worst Basketball Movie of All-Time — The 6th Man
- I used all my VC to upgrade my 2k Badge — Deadeye for Karl Anthony-Towns
- Kicks of the Night — Wenyen Gabriel with the F&F Panini x Reebok Question Mid “Prizm”
- Best Actor in a Kareem Sky Hook Dramedy — Pat Beverley
